


C'est la Mort

by Athena83



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Near Death, Possible Character Death, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 08:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17557100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athena83/pseuds/Athena83
Summary: After a mission goes wrong, Y/N thinks she's lost Yondu forever.





	C'est la Mort

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: An AU where Yondu didn’t die on Ego. This one starts mid-battle, after Yondu, Peter, and Y/N make it back to the Benatar while fighting off the Sakaarans, after a mission gone wrong. The title is from one of my favorite songs by The Civil Wars.
> 
> A few lyrics from the song:
> 
> _C'est la vie_
> 
> _C'est la mort_
> 
> _You and me_
> 
> _Forevermore_
> 
> _Heaven or Hell or somewhere in between_
> 
> _Cross your heart to take me when you leave_
> 
> _Don't go without me_
> 
>    
> Warnings: Lots of Angst. It’s pretty sad at times, sorry about that.

 

“Don’t do this! Please, Yondu, don’t do this to me!”

“I have to, Y/N.”

“No, you don’t! You  _don’t_  have to do this!” You grabbed the lapels of his coat as you tried to keep him from leaving.

“I gotta distract ‘em to give you an’ Peter time to take off an’ get back to the Quadrant.  I ain’t lettin’ ya die, an’ this is the only way I can think ta do it.”

“Don’t you dare walk out that door, Yondu Udonta!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he replied, in a quiet, husky voice.  There were tears in his eyes, as he looked over your head to Peter.  “Get her outta here, get her back safe.”

Peter nodded, and Yondu pulled you to him, kissing you once, then wrenched himself from your grasp and ran through the ship’s door. You heard it lock behind him, then heard the sounds of laser cannons and quad blasters firing, and, faintly, the sound of his whistle.  

Your anguished sob echoed around the room as you collapsed to the floor.  

“Y/N, come on, we’ve got to go!”  Peter yelled, reaching for your arm to help you up.  

You yanked your arm out of his grasp.  “ _No!_  No, we’ve got to help him.  We’ve got to save him!”

“Y/N… it’s too late.”

“No, it’s not!”  You scrambled up and ran to the door, but couldn’t open it.  

“Open the door.”

“No.”

“Open it right now, Peter Quill!”

“No, Y/N, we’ve got to go!  Yondu didn’t sacrifice himself for you to get yourself killed anyway.”  

Crying harder, you lost the ability to speak and just shook your head.

“Y/N, come on,” Peter said, gently, but urgently, pulling you with him ****to the front of the Benatar.

You let him drag you along, not caring whether you made it safely or not.  Not caring if you ever reached the Eclector Quadrant.  Not caring about  _anything_  if Yondu was gone.

You couldn’t believe it.  Yondu Udonta, the strong Ravager Captain, the man you loved, was  _gone_.

You realized the two of you had reached the cockpit, and Peter pulled you inside, pushing you into a chair.

“Buckle up,” he ordered, as he hurriedly flipped switches and pressed buttons, trying to get the ship in the air before the Sakaarans broke through the locked door.  

You numbly followed his orders, but didn’t see the point.  Why bother with a safety harness when your life was over anyway?

Peter took off, then glanced over at you.  “You okay?”

You shook your head, still crying, and he sighed.  “I mean, physically – are you hurt?”

You shook your head again, and he turned back to the front.  “I’m sorry, Y/N.  I… don’t know what to say.”  

He was on the verge of tears, and you suddenly realized that this was just as hard on him as it was on you.  You reached out a hand and rested it on his arm.  He glanced at it, nodded, and continued flying in silence.

You cried all the way back to the Quadrant.  When you disembarked the Benatar, you headed straight to the quarters you shared –  _had_ shared – with Yondu, ignoring the many questions from Kraglin and the other Guardians.  You heard Peter start explaining what happened, and you ran the rest of the way to your room.  

When you reached your quarters, you closed the door behind you, then slid to the floor.  You brought your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them, and sobbed.  You didn’t care how loud you cried, didn’t care if anyone heard you.  

You knew why he did it, but it didn’t make you feel any better.  If anything, it made you feel worse.  You weren’t worth him giving up his life.  You got up and walked to your bed, kicking off your boots, and crawled beneath the blankets.  The pillow still smelled like him, and you held it tightly as you cried into it.  

* * *

 

You must have fallen asleep at some point, because you found yourself jolted awake by someone knocking on your door.  You sat up, hands scrubbing your face, feeling slightly disoriented.  

The knock came again, and you heard Peter say, “Y/N, you okay?” It was unusual for Peter to be knocking at your door unless there was an emergency, and you vaguely wondered what was going on, until the events of the previous night suddenly came back to you.  You placed your hand on Yondu’s side of the bed and closed your eyes, trying not to cry, until Peter knocked again.  

You slid out of bed and walked to the door, taking a deep breath before you opened it.  Peter’s hand was lifted in midair, about to knock again.  “Oh, hey, Y/N, you okay?”

“Yeah .”

“Did I wake you up?  Sorry about that.”  He rubbed the back of his head.

“It’s okay.  Did you need something?”

“Oh.  No, I just, uh, wanted to check on you.”

“Thanks.”

“So, do you, uh, want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“You hungry?”

“No.”

“Do you want to -”

“I think I just want to be alone right now.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.  No problem.  If you, um, want to talk or something, just let me know.”

“I will, thanks.”

“K, see you later, Y/N.”

“Bye.”

You slowly shut the door in Peter’s face.  You could tell he didn’t want to leave you alone, but he wasn’t going to pressure you.  You felt bad because you knew it was hard on him, too, but you couldn’t muster up the strength to talk,  _especially_  about last night.  

You crawled back into bed and pulled Yondu’s pillow to you, closing your eyes and trying to pretend he was still with you.

* * *

 

The next time you were awoken by someone knocking at your door, it was Rocket.

“Y/N!  Open up, we got somethin’ for ya.”

You sighed, and walked to the door, opening it to see Rocket standing there, Groot on his shoulder.

Rocket didn’t wait for an invitation, marching past you and hopping up onto your bed.  You shut the door and walked back to the bed, sitting down and pulling the blankets over your knees.

“Brought you a sandwich and something to drink.  Figured you’d be hungry by now.”

He handed them to you, and even though you never wanted to eat again, your traitorous stomach rumbled.  

“Yeah, thought so,” Rocket smirked.  

Groot slid off Rocket’s shoulder and made his way over to you, climbing up onto your lap.  “I am Groot!”

“Hey, Groot.”

“I am Groot!”

“He said you should eat that.”

“Okay.”  You unwrapped the sandwich, and took a bite.  You weren’t sure what it was, and were afraid to ask, but it was edible so you kept chewing.

“I am Groot.”

“He said he helped make it.”

“Well, you did a great job, Groot.  It’s delicious.”

Groot smiled and snuggled up in your lap.

“You okay?”  Rocket asked.

You took a sip of your water, and replied, “I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

You took another bite of the sandwich and shook your head.

“Probably best.  I ain’t good at these kinds of talks.”

The three of you sat in silence while you finished eating, Groot finally falling asleep.  

“You gonna come out of your room anytime soon?” Rocket asked, picking up the sandwich wrapper and empty water bottle, and putting them back in his bag.

“Eventually, I guess.”

“You can’t stay in here alone forever, you know.”  He hopped off the bed, then continued.  “You’re not the only one who’s going to miss him.”  

Tears welled up in your eyes, and Rocket said, “Ah, shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry.  I just meant you shouldn’t stay in here alone too long.”

You nodded, then said quietly, “I know.”

“C’mon, Groot.  We gotta go.”

“It’s okay, he can stay.  He’s still asleep anyway.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, see you later, Y/N.”

“Bye, Rocket.  And thanks.”

He waved without turning around, and closed the door behind himself.

You sighed.  He was right, you  _couldn’t_  stay in here forever, but the thought of getting up and carrying on, of  _living,_ when Yondu  _couldn’t_  was almost too much to bear.  You shifted Groot to the pillow beside you, then curled up with the blankets drawn up to your chin.  

* * *

 

“I am Groot!”

“What?” you asked, groggily.

“I am Groot.  I am  _Groot_.”

He was pulling on the sleeve of your shirt, and you sat up.  “What is it, Groot?”

He hopped off the bed, ran to the door, and pointed at it.

“You ready to go?”

He nodded, so you slid out of bed and walked to the door, opening it. “K, there ya go.  Thanks for the sandwich.”

Instead of leaving, he grabbed your pants leg and tried pulling you out of the room.

“You want me to go with you?”

He nodded again.

The last thing you wanted to do was leave your room, but maybe he was right.  You didn’t even know how long you’d been locked up in there.  A day?  Two days?  

“Can I take a shower first?”

He kicked at the door frame, but nodded.

“Okay, thanks.” You gave him a small smile.  “You gonna wait on me?”

“I am Groot!”  He ran back to the bed and climbed the blankets until he was sitting on your pillow.  “I am Groot.”

“I guess that’s a yes.  I’ll be right out, okay?”

You felt slightly more human after your shower.  You pulled on some clean clothes, and walked back into your room.  Groot was still sitting on the bed, but he was now busy coloring on a piece of paper. He’d obviously remembered the stash of paper and crayons that you kept in your bedside table just for him. 

Yondu was the one to pick them up after you had mentioned that Terran children liked to color, and that maybe Groot would, too.  That was before you and Yondu were officially together, and the fact that he’d made a trip to Terra just to pick up crayons and paper for the tiny Flora colossus had made you fall even deeper in love than you already were.  He had denied that that was the only reason he’d gone to Terra, but you never found evidence of anything else he’d done while there.  You smiled sadly at the thought, then walked over to Groot.

“What are you coloring?”

He held up the drawing for you to see, and you realized it was a drawing of Yondu, with Groot sitting on his shoulder, his arrow flying around them.  You bit your lip to hold back the tears, then said, “That’s really good, Groot!”  

“I am Groot,” he replied sadly.  

“You miss him, too, huh?”

He nodded, and you picked him up, hugging him tightly.  

“You ready to go?” you asked him, as he squirmed out of your embrace.  He nodded, and you picked up his picture.  “Here ya go.” You tried handing it to him, but he shook his head and pointed at you.

“It’s for me?”

He nodded again, and you tried, unsuccessfully, to hold back your tears.  “Thank you, Groot.”

He wiggled out of your arms and ran to the door, turning to you expectantly.  

“Okay, let’s go.”

* * *

 

“Where do you think everyone is, Groot?”

“I am Groot!”

“That doesn’t help me at all.  I’ve really got to get a translator that works with you.”  

He nodded in agreement, then ran on ahead.  You walked slowly, in no hurry to be around other people.    After a couple of minutes, Groot ran back, stomped his foot, and motioned for you to hurry up, before running off again.  

You walked a little faster, but were still in no hurry.  Eventually, you heard talking coming from up ahead.  It sounded as though everyone was gathered in the common area.  You hesitated outside the door, still not sure if you were ready to face everyone, but Groot came running back out of the room and saw you standing there.  He grabbed your pants leg and started pulling, and you had no choice but to follow him inside.  

You waved halfheartedly at everyone as you entered.  “Hey, y’all.”

A chorus of greetings went up, and Rocket scooted closer to Drax on the couch, patting the empty spot beside him.  You sat down next to him, self-consciously looking around the room, but no one was staring at you, for which you were eternally grateful.  Peter, Gamora, and Nebula were sitting on the couch opposite you, while Mantis sat on the other side of Drax.  Kraglin was sitting in an armchair wedged in at the end of the two couches.  The furniture was old and mismatched, and had to be squeezed into the small room, but it was cozy, and one of your favorite places on the Quadrant.

Peter had convinced Yondu to set up a way for him to play the Zune over the intercom in this room, which was one of the reasons you loved being in here.  Besides the fact that both of you were from Terra, you and Peter had also bonded over your shared love of music. You’d talked Yondu into slow dancing with you in this room a few times when no one else was around, and, closing your eyes, you allowed the memory of it to wash over you.  

The sound of Peter clearing his throat brought you out of your memories, and you opened your eyes.

“So, I was thinking we should do a memorial for Yondu.”

You looked down at your hands.  You weren’t sure if you were ready to talk about this, but, then again, you didn’t think you’d  _ever_  be ready for this conversation.  

“Yeah.”  Kraglin cleared his throat, his voice thick with emotion.  “Yeah, we should.”

You suddenly felt terrible because you hadn’t even  _thought_  about Kraglin and how he must be feeling.  He’d known Yondu a lot longer than you had, and while their relationship was, obviously, different, you knew he must be just as devastated as you.  

While the others discussed the memorial, you stared at the floor, trying to ignore their words.  You didn’t  _want_  to think about a memorial, because a memorial would make it real, would make it final, and you didn’t want that.  You stood up, suddenly, cutting off Kraglin mid-sentence.  

“I’m sorry, I… I have to go.”

You hurried out of the room, running back to your quarters, hoping no one followed you.  You heard Peter and Rocket calling your name, but you ignored them and kept running.  When you reached your room, you got back into bed and pulled the blankets over your head as you cried.  

A few minutes later, you heard tentative knocking at your door.  You ignored it until you heard Kraglin say, “Y/N?  Can I come in?”

If it had been anyone else, you probably would have kept ignoring them, but he sounded so sad, so you called out softly, “Yeah.”

You thought he hadn’t heard you at first, but then the door opened and he walked inside, closing it behind himself.  He didn’t say anything, so you pulled the blanket off your head and sat up.  You sniffled, then asked, “You okay?”

He shook his head, and you felt the last pieces of your broken heart shatter.  You got up and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist.  He hugged you back, and you felt his body start to shake as he silently cried.  

“What’re we gonna do without our Cap’n, Y/N?”

You didn’t know what to say, so you just held him tighter as you cried even harder than before.  You weren’t sure how long the two of you stood like that, but finally you heard him take a deep breath and he pulled away from you.  

“Thanks,” he said, not looking at you as he wiped his eyes.

“You’re welcome.  You want to talk?”

“Not yet.  Maybe later.”

You nodded.  You understood not being ready to talk about it.  “Well, you know where to find me when you’re ready.”

“Same goes fer you, if ya wanna talk.”  

You gave him a sad smile, and said, “Thanks.”

He walked to the door and opened it, then turned to face you, his hand still on the handle.  “We’re gonna hafta be strong.  Cap’n wouldn’t want us to break down.”

“I know,” you whispered, tears starting to fall again.  

When he left, locking the door behind himself, you fell to your knees and kept crying.  You knew he was right,  _knew_  Yondu wouldn’t want you to give up and quit living, but you also knew he wouldn’t think less of you for needing time.  After a few minutes, you managed to stand up and walk to your bed, kicking off your boots and crawling back under the blankets.  At this rate, you’d be spending the rest of your life in this bed.  You slid over to Yondu’s side of the bed, and cried yourself to sleep.

* * *

 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep, but it wasn’t nearly long enough.  You didn’t know what had woken you up, until you heard the knocking at your door.  You sighed and pulled the blankets over your head.  You were grateful for your friends’ concern, but you just wanted to be alone for a while.  The person knocked again, more insistently this time, and you wondered how long it would take them to go away.  

When they knocked yet again, you pulled the blankets off your head, and said, “I don’t really feel like company right now.”

“Not even mine?”

You gasped and sat up.   _It was Yondu’s voice._   “Oh, no, I’ve lost it,”  you whispered to yourself.  

“I know what yer thinkin’, darlin’, an’ ya ain’t crazy. Open the door.”  

You jumped out of the bed and hurried to the door, but hesitated before opening it.  If this was some wild hallucination and you opened the door to find no one there, you weren’t sure if you could handle it.  Slowly, you pulled the door open, and saw Yondu standing there.

“Hey, darlin’.”  

“Yondu… what…  _how_?  You  _died,_ ”you said in a hushed voice.    

“Nah, I didn’t,” he replied gently.  “Was a close call, though.”

You slowly reached out a hand, brushing his arm.  He felt solid, so he couldn’t be a hallucination.  “It’s really you.”  

“Yeah, it’s really me.”

You threw your arms around his neck and sobbed.  “I thought you were gone.  I thought you were  _dead_.”

“Shh, it’s okay, darlin’.  I’m here,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around you.  

You finally pulled away from his embrace, holding him at arm’s length as you looked him over, still crying.  “Are you okay?  Are you hurt?  Your face is bruised!”  You gently brushed your hands over his bruises.  “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I’m fine.  A few scrapes an’ bruises, nothin’ I ain’t used to.”  

You suddenly realized the two of you were still standing in the doorway, so you gently pulled him inside the room.  You led him to the bed and made him sit down, sitting next to him and grabbing his hand.    

“What happened?”

“Well, I did what I said I’s gonna do.  I distracted the Sakaarans so y’all could take off.”

“Yeah, but how did you  _survive_?  There were so many of them!”

“Jus’ luck, I guess.  An’ I was gonna do whatever it took to get back to ya, even though when I left that ship, I didn’t know if I’d make it.  I managed to find some cover pretty quick after gettin’ off the ship.  Sent my arrow around to try to even the odds a bit.  Let ‘em think they’d got me, an’ when they went lookin’ fer my body, I’s able to sneak off.”

“How’d you get back here?”

“I, er, mighta borrowed a ship.”

“Borrowed?”

“Without permission.” He grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I don’t even care that you stole someone’s ship, I’m just so happy you’re here and  _alive_!”  You hugged him again, squeezing him tightly.  “But you still need to return it.”

He laughed, and said, “I’ll take care of it, darlin’, don’t worry.”

Leaning back to look at him, you replied, “But not today, I don’t want you out of my sight.”  

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”  He caressed your face, then continued, “The hardest thing I ever had ta do was leave ya on that ship, even though I knew it was the only way to save ya.  Thought fer sure I’s gonna die, but I’d die happy if it meant I saved ya.”

“I just can’t believe you’re here.  These past couple of days have been… I don’t even want to think about it.  I thought my life was  _over_.  I couldn’t imagine going another day without you.  I don’t want to ever go through that again.”  You took a deep breath as you looked into his eyes.  “Can’t we just stay in this room, safe, forever?”

“I ain’t gotta problem with that.”  He winked, pulling you closer to him.

“I didn’t think you would,” you laughed.  

“We definitely ain’t leavin’ this room tonight.”

“I ain’t gotta problem with that,” you replied, causing him to smile wider.  

“Good,” he said, before wrapping his arms around you and kissing you tenderly.  


End file.
